Tomorrow I am going to a Medical Aid In Dying meeting. After 3 decades
in the helping profession, two of which I was a crisis counselor for the
HIV/AIDS and addiction communities, I have seen more than my share of death. And
while in private practice the number of cancer patients I dealt with alongside
of some hospice work has made this issue very real to me.
I do not write to debate the finer points of what's right or wrong. I have
never held the position that the answer is so simple. I cannot judge the
experience of another. I'll take it a step further. I cannot judge the pain of
another.
I think that many of us have been conditioned from a very young age and
never really revisited this issue again. The world is not black and white. It's
1000 shades of grey. I have never found pushing my beliefs on someone to be
beneficial. Especially while they are in pain. And although I have been
criticized by many for not pushing religion at that time because I am a
chaplain, my job is not to convert. My job is to comfort. I believe in offering
dignity to the dying. The one certainty in life is death. And no one wants to
talk about it. Now is the time. When we have a clear head that is not clouded
by pain or persuasion, now is the time to ask yourself what would your wishes
be when that time comes? Wouldn't you want options? Wouldn't you want to have
them documented via a Will and conversations with your loved ones?
Please understand that these conversations in the last days of life are
robbing you of time that could be spent comforting, sharing and making peace
with the inevitable. These are sacred moments. Just as life is. And when there
is no hope and one wishes to die with dignity, agree with them or not, I'm a
true believer that we should honor the dying wishes. That if they have come to
terms with their creator, then we should respect that.
Cancer ends it all happily.
Waiting eagerly for the summer vacation we were all set to
go to our granny's place. All of us had a great time. We all loved her a lot. Right
from our childhood we always got our queries solved by her suggestions. We
enjoyed spending time with her. A very lovable and adorable beautiful long hair
and pleasing face she had. We could freak out with her, to the zoo, gardens,
shopping and restaurant too. We together had a great time.
It was Sunday all of us were enjoying the game of football
in our garden. The Aunt who was sitting near the window watched us playing. We
all screamed and yelled while playing the game and messed up with the mud and
dirt all over our body. Why was her bed confined to the window?
Why was she in bad health?
We booked three tables in one of the restaurants in the
town. A big colorful cake came near to our table. The waiter laid carefully in
the center of the table lit a candle and wished my aunt a long life. It was
this fine afternoon my mobile rung. It was my elder sis informed me of my
Aunt's death. She was suffering from Breast Cancer. Of course, Cancer won the
battle. My Uncle and Aunt had no issue of their own. My sister was elder among
cousins. My Aunt always had the soft corner towards her. She always hid her
health problems.
One strong pain in her chest broke her she had a Medical
Reports in her hands it was Breast Cancer. This shocking news created a fear. The
painful process of treatment began. The first year of treatment was enough to
break her physically and mentally. My Uncle was not strong economically. He
took the help of Government scheme. He was somewhere annoyed with the expenses
required in the treatment.
My Uncle was upset with her treatment. My Uncle put her on
the wheels and took her to the washroom gave her a clean bath, covered her with
a gown and put her back to the bed, fed her with his hands.
Her body had lots of surgery marks, cuts, scars. She
shivered, burst into tears and screamed during the treatment. We all saw the
pain and sufferings she went through.